Clean Like a Freak

Sophie tells me that I must enjoy cleaning, otherwise I wouldn’t do it. She ignores me when I tell her this is not true. I clean because the alternative is infuriating. I can’t live like a hog. I can’t think. When I sit down to read or write all and […]

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Saving Time On Prose

You don’t need to describe all the finer details. You know when someone talks to you for ages and you stand there waiting to get away? I hope you aren’t doing the reading equivalent of that right now. If you are, I am sorry. I am sorry for us both. […]

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How To Apply Advice

I wasn’t completely satisfied when I finished the last article. I felt there was nothing of value for people to go away and test. I like it when I know that people are testing things. It means that new stuff can be created. Just please don’t fuck around and test […]

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Too Much

He had one trolley. The trolley was wide enough to stack one crate on top of another. His boss was shouting at him “More! More!” I think his boss was Greek. Maybe this is symbolic. So he stacked two crates side by side on the width of a platform designed for […]

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The One Magic Trick That Anyone Can Do

The last time I tried, I failed. I attempted to pull an acupuncture pillow from behind Sophie’s ear. She caught me. No more tricks. Not for a short while anyway. I have to let the magic dust settle. To date, the biggest thing I have managed to pull from behind her […]

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The Only Decisions You Need To Make

It can be as simple as black and white. We can add colour to life when we choose. Or, we can smudge the black into the white and create a miserable, sorry-for-itself grey. Often we know what colours we want to add to our canvas, but we’re afraid that everyone […]

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